By: Faten Husni Odeh
The common statistic of 50 percent of
marriages end in divorce is a myth.
It may seem like more divorces are rising as
we head into the 21st century with celebrity marriages like Kim
Kardashian and Kris Humphries lasting only 72 days but the truth is, the
statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce is completely false.
Divorce might seem more common than they were
when our grandparents were married. This is likely because its more socially
acceptable now than it was back in the ole days. When celebrities set trends,
society seems to follow them and if everyone else is doing it, then it must be
okay!
Since I am married, I would like to know what
plagues marriages to result in an unhappy ending so that my husband and I never
go down that road.
For one thing, I believe people of today want
instant gratification. We live in a society where we don’t have to wait a week
to receive a letter in the mail to learn how a friend is doing, we don’t even
have to contact them, we can just take a look at their Facebook page and gather
that information. When we want something, we want it now, and we want it to be
the flawless.
Take the IPhone for instance, what was wrong
with your IPhone 4 that you had to abandon it and wait in line all night for
the IPhone 5? Most people are facing economic hard times but instead of waiting
to save up for the new IPhone, many will go into debt for the latest edition
for the IPhone because we lack the patience to wait for our rewards.
Patience is what marriage needs, and patience
is what many lack. (Now I'm not saying that all marriages that have ended in divorce was due to lack of patience). Marriage is challenging because there are two people
involved, it’s not just you anymore, it’s another person’s feelings, wants and
needs that may conflict with your own. When you’re married you have to learn to
be selfless and think about what is better for the whole instead of just you.
Mary Beth Godley, an ECU graduate student, is
set to marry her long time friend since the 8th grade, Alex Wadford,
also an ECU graduate student, this November. She says that divorce is not an
option for them,
“Marriage is tough. I am going into
marriage knowing that. Marriage might seem fun and exciting, but when the
honeymoon phase is over, they [people] start to realize it can be tough work
sometimes and want to bail. You have to marry someone you not only like, but
love UNCONDITIONALLY. You may not like that person all the time, but you should
always love them greater than you love yourself.”
Mary Beth is right, it is tough but it is also rewarding. My
husband and I just celebrated our two-year anniversary last week. When I look
back at where we were two years ago, and where we are now, I am proud of
ourselves for our strength and our love for each other. There are times where
you will want to pull each other’s hair out, and that’s okay, but my advice to
anyone getting married is to remember that person you married, and why you
married them, love each other unconditionally and most of all have patience.
NoSeYintellectuals2010
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